Startling facts...

Startling facts...

• 1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused by the age of 18.
• More than 90% of abusers are people children know, love or trust.
• There are more than 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in America.
• More than 60% of pregnant teens have been sexually abused. 
• 20% of child sexual abuse victims are under the age of 8. (d2l.org)

 I guess if there is ever a statistic to be apart of 1 of the 39 million survivors is the statistic to be apart of. The sad thing is this is only a rough number because so many cases never get reported.


 

Second guessing myself

I am a strong person. I know this because I have seen myself overcome some terrible situations. My childhood wasn't very good. I had a father that felt like it was okay to hurt me and because of that I am faced with the aftermath of what he did. One of the things I hate most about my past is that it sneaks up on me sometimes when I least expect it. Only someone who has been through what I have can understand how it feels to be taken back in time by something as simple of a smell. It really sucks that a smell can make me feel like the small, weak child that I was once upon a time. I sometimes wonder if I'll be dealing with this when I'm 50. Will the my past stop haunting me at some point in time or will I never escape it? All I can do is take one day at time and see where my life leads me.

Where to begin?

I guess to start, I should say that I have never written a blog before. You may wonder... Why now? What do you hope to gain from writing a blog? Well let me attempt to explain...

I am 24 years old, going to turn 25 in November. I've been battling the past for as long as I can remember. Now my 25th birthday is coming up and I feel like I'm losing myself in what I never had the chance to become. Sounds weird or even crazy but I feel like had I not been a victim then maybe I'd be the kind of person who can freely express who they are or maybe feel they are worth something or belong somewhere. Instead I'm faced with what was and what may never be. I struggle daily with the results of my abusers actions. I am 24 years old and I just want to live, I just want to figure out who I am. I hope to gain some sort of clarity in my life, I hope for some closure, at the very least some hope that someone out there will read this and find that they are not alone in there struggles too.